Feroskid
Many couples have difficulty maintaining s*xual desire in a long-term relationship such as marriage. It’s an important subject to take a closer look at. Not all couples experience a drastic decline in desire over time. So, what are the differences between the couples where desire declines and the ones that do not? And, what can we learn from the couples that do not experience such a decline? Some recent studies may provide some answers.
A collaborative study by several universities was recently published theJournal of Personality and Social Psychologythat took a look at couples’ degree of responsiveness and its effect, if any, on s*xual desire. Past research has not given us a conclusive answer about whether an increased sense of emotional intimacy (feeling understood, close, connected through actions that are caring, warm and affectionate) in a relationship helps or hurts s*xual desire.
There are those who have studied these issues that remark upon an ongoingintimacy-desire paradoxdebate.
This paradox means that higher levels of emotional intimacy may actually inhibit s*xual desire. The argument revolves around the idea that familiarity can kill desire. Desire is seen as rooted in novelty, uncertainty, and separateness. Yet other professionals assert that desire is rooted in the safety and security that a strong bond with a primary romantic partner provides.
The findings of this new research supports the latter. A partner’s emotional responsivenessoutside the bedroom does in fact contribute to the desire to have s*x with their partner. This concept also can help explain why women’s desire in particular is more strongly impacted by their partner’s responsiveness than men’s desire.
In the first study, participants were told that they would interact online with their partner. They were instructed to talk about a recent personal and meaningful life event. However, they were really talking to a study confederate—an actor participating in the experiment. This confederate sent either a “responsive” or an “unresponsive” standardized message back after hearing the story.
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